Yes, my friends, you may be trying to figure out whether you want to be the slutty nurse, slutty cat or slutty sewage waste treatment technician for Halloween, but I’m already firmly focused on Christmas. Why? For a few reasons, all of them awesome:
1. I am anti credit card. However I am pro “give everybody you’ve ever met a gift.” This means I start my Christmas shopping in July. No joke – my first gifts are always purchased at this summertime art festival in Hippyville.
2. T.E. comes home to me in December. Sigh.
3. I have so many people I like to shop for, but if you cram them all into the month of December the fun of gifting becomes “Gah! Stress! Crowds! Money! Stress! Gah! Christmas BAD!!!” And that’s a terrible thing to do to Christmas…
4. I’ll have someone to help me wrap presents this year because T.E. will be here. Yay!
5. I have this very ambitious plan this year that involves having all gifts that need to be shipped already bought and wrapped in November, and shipped off by Thanksgiving. Go ahead and hate me!
6. Did I mention the hot, young Englishman? I did? Good. Because he’s awesome.
Oh, and also Christmas = piles of yay!
In order to facilitate this level of manic, almost obsessive holiday adoration I have to have it all organized. Almost to the point of needing a psychoanalysis. And/or Prozac. To that end (the organization end, not the shrinking/drugs end) I have created this elaborate, nay even color-codified spreadsheet.
It shows names! Gifts! Budgets!
It tells me who’s finished and who’s not yet finished!
It tells me who’s naughty! Who’s… wait, no. That’s someone else’s list… (and I bet HIS list doesn’t include “months to shop in” color coding!)
But still, totally an awesome list, people!
Armed with my list and my astounding selection of Christmas-themed wrapping paper (over twenty different patterns! Snowmen and Santas! Sparkly and shiny and sparkly!) I now head into this coming holiday season not just prepared – I’m OVER PREPARED! I’m a quarter finished! I’ve got things lined up to purchase at each paycheck! For some people I don’t just have an idea of what to get them, I’ve got a BUNCH of ideas! I’ve actually got to go through a list and pick just one thing – I might even be able to give other people ideas for gifts since I have too many!
Oh yes, I’m ready my friends. Bring it on, Old Man Winter! Come on, tidings of comfort and joy! I’ve got your fa la la la la right here! I am SO READY for my Happy Holidays!