Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Oh hi, I didn't see you standing there...

Ummmmmmm, hi.

(embarrassed, awkward pause)

Right, so I suck.

Look, I could waste your and my time with the long, whiny and entirely my fault reasons/excuses/bitchfest of where the heck I’ve been the last what – 2 weeks? Maybe more? Or I could just sum it up like this: Christmas is HARD.

I pretty much always seem to kill myself with entirely too many fabulous, ambitious projects for gifts. What starts off with “hey, I could give someone a calendar of family pictures!” always ends with “and that’s why I spent every night for a week up until 3am, searching years of photos so that I can create a chronological photo essay of the evolution of our family, printed like a painting on canvas and framed in an antique gold-plated frame. From Italy. The Country.”

The good news is that the last of the absurd, over-the-top projects was finished yesterday and I can now shun my “Santa’s Elves” existence and return to you! My Internet Bestest Friends! The bad news is that I only got 4 and a half hours of sleep last night (did I mention the final project is done?) and that’s 3 nights in a row of that and also I fell asleep typing the word “chronological” up above there, and again just now between “Santa’s” and “Elves”. So I don’t have the push in me to write anything worthwhile (I can see it now: the Christmas of the post of “eleven things I would not want shoved into my pants on a long hike.” Number 3: pickled rats-heads!) so I’m just going to leave you with three wise gems of depth and wisdom:

1) promise of a snow storm is not the same thing as a snow storm.
2) wait, what was I gonna do just now?
3) If enough pressure is placed it is possible to make a crease in the bridge of your nose with the top of the “F7” key.

But for now? S-L-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-P!

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