Remember before when I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up? Ha ha ha ha ha… Good times. Memories – don’tcha love them? Yeah. Love them. Memories and stuff. Ha ha hahaha… (yeah, no I still don’t know. Sigh.)
Here’s the stuff I’ve realized which, at least, bring me just that bitty-bit closer to some kind of answer or plan:
1. I have a job.
2. I pretty much always just have a job. No matter how hard or influential or stressful, etc., a job is a job is a job.
3. My job is stressful. Like “three times this year I wondered if I’d given myself an ulcer” stressful.
4. I am totally up for stress, as long as it’s from something I WANT to do. I’ll take that stress out to dinner! An EXPENSIVE dinner, with candles on the table and a separate wine menu! I’ll babysit that stress’ 17 young, bratty children! On HALLOWEEN! I’ll soak my feet in that stress, and then my head, and then my great, big, stressed-out butt! BRING ON THAT STRESS!
5. However for just a job the stress just stresses me out. About which I can only say: Boo. And possibly also Hiss. But I’m sure about Boo. I stand behind that for sure. Boo.
6. Oh, and also I’m not willing to be poor. About being poor I also say “Boo.” And I currently define “poor” as “I have to decide between a decent dinner and buying a new mop, as I currently have a huge mess on my floor. And also hunger.”
…with these totally groundbreaking and mind blowing and “Wow, she has put a LOT of thought into this!” epiphanies I come to a conclusion: I need to figure out what it is that I really, REALLY want to do. And then start doing that. While still doing what I’m doing now.
In other words, I need to add about 2 hours to each day.
I’m working out the flux capacitor and other sciency-sounding words, as well as waiting for the delivery of my magicy pendant from an old guy in a wizard’s hat, all of which will be the key to turning back or stopping the clock for these 2 hours each day. Once I’m sure what I want to spend those 2 hours doing. There’s a plan! A happy life is right around the corner!