OK, you know how I never write anymore? And how you guys have pretty much given up on me and my blog since hey, there are never any posts? Well I’ve been trying to resist the urge to give excuses each time I go too many days between posts because frankly everybody hates excuses and the only thing worse than no post at all would be an excusy post. But the truth is I just keep falling ASLEEP.
This constant sleepiness started about 6 months ago and it just sucks. It ruins my long-earned reputation as a night owl and turns so many of my attempts at blogposts into 3-4 solid paragraphs followed by hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh and the semi colon key stuck in my eye. Sigh. And when I wake up, face full of keyboard, I’m angry! Angry at the lack of late-night creativity and productivity and other-thingie-tivity! I want my nights back!
I’ve tried a bunch of things and have reaped piles and piles of bupkiss. The only thing I know for sure is that this danged sleepiosity started not long after my change in jobs. But lately this fall-asleepiness has started hitting me at the office too. (a place you traditionally try not to face-nap, by the way.) I just get SO SLEEPY! But I’ve had a realization:
My new job is wall-to-wall sugar. No kidding: bowls of desk-candy, breakfast sweeties, candies used to keep folks productive in long meetings, supportive “thanks!” and “Good Job!”” suck-up sweets… sugar, sugar everywhere and I’m just SO weak! I started with the breakfast sweets, then changed my paths through the halls to hit all the desks with candy bowls and now I’ve got very steady candy and sweets breaks all day long, often capped off with the traditional afternoon fudgical. (seriously, love me the fudgical. Greatest novelty ice cream treat ever.) And now I think the whole problem is sugar highs, followed by terrible, terrible sugar face-plants.
So as of today I’ve gone cold-turkey on the sugar.
Man, by about 2:30 today I had the serious sugar jonesing going on. I could hear the voices of every little foil-covered chocolate hearts in the nearest candy bowl calling out my name, telling me that they all loved me, and would give me their sweet, sugary energy if only I would come and nom-nom-nom them up. I forego the now-traditional after-lunch handful of Oreos, instead enjoying some grapes. (so not the same thing, and if ANY of you try to point out something about grapes having some kind of natural sugar in them or something I will travel to your homes and I will set fire to ALL of your toilet paper in a completely unrelated act of aggression!!! I didn’t have any Oreos! You cannot take away that triumph, no matter the fact of the matter!!!)
I was also, once again, fighting off the mid-day desk-drool-puddle from unstoppable naps. SO SLEEPY. But I know that I cannot do anything about my sugar problem in a day. No, I totally understand this is a process, not a quick fix. I’m sure I won’t have this gummy-monkey off my back right away. Heck, it could take as long as 2 or maybe even 3 days! It’s hard!
Also rest assured that I am not swearing off sugar altogether. That would be crazy talk, and also I’m just not that strong. I still drink sugary sodas and right now, when I finish this blog post (created at night, and with only planned run-on h’s!) I’m going to reward myself with a lovely slice of chocolate cream pie, left over from dinner at the Royal house last night. The traditional tiny dessert will not go away. It will just no longer be an hourly snack plan! I am enboldened (it's a word!) by today's success and am sure it will all fall asleep tomorrow when I have a Cap'n crunch, Starburst and Snickerdoodle sammich! (on wheat, of course.)