Wednesday, September 24, 2008


I KNEW it! Call me lazy, call me slacker, call me narcoleptic! But I totally knew that all the naps I am always all-the-time takin' were noble, healthy, nay even ORGANIC and good for me! And LO, see how the good people of the Boston Globe (a real paper written by real journalists and read by people who went to real colleges!) broke down the ins and outs and various facets of that most glorious of health regimens: THE NAP!

Some things I learned from the Boston Globe Smarty-smarty-smartsmarts? That I'm an owl, not a lark. and this is good, because I'm pretty sure that the lark is the dorkiest of the birds. Seriously -- I think they have little bird pocket protectors and play lark Dungeons and Dragons and the like. Whereas owls are stinkin' cool; they fly the coolest cars and smoke and swear birdy curses.

Also, I'm NOT afternoon-stupid! No, it turns out that my days have been plagued, nay MOCKED, by an afternoon quiescent phase. A PHASE, people! How could someone combat that? Answer: nap.

My nap of choice? I rock that 4th image where you're lying on your face, naked, with your ass lovingly covered by some kind of blanky. That's how I roll. (and also between 60 and 90 minutes of hardcore, quality nap-action. and also when I nap I'm devoid of hue. But hey, aren't we all?) But let's not take anything away from Mr. Clean down there, with the bare feet and the headphones, huggin' his security pillow. That is a guy I could learn to love: a man who naps unabashedly. Unashamedly. Puts his all and his everything into every nap.

So the next time you fall asleep on your desk at work, your nose covered with "sign here" tags and your screen full of nothing but g's, g's, g's, don't get down on yourself! You're just overdue for that power-nap, people! Time to find a couch! A sofa! A loveseat! and GET our NAP on, my people!!

PS: seriously, counting sheep or "floating Z's" actually works? Man, I owe Chuck Jones an apology...

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