Wednesday, March 18, 2009

My Body, My Self.

I’m tired. All the time I’m tired. Tired at work, tired at home, tired in the in-between times… Today I was driving out to another work location and I dozed off sitting at a red light. (luckily the lovely lady in the car behind me was kind and generous enough to lay on her horn ala NY Times Square to rouse me from my reverie.)

Just now, as I was trying to watch a taped show and write a blog post I fell asleep three or four times. And I hate that because I have to keep rewinding the VCR over and over to watch the same scenes. And also I fell asleep a little bit on the keyboard one time and so my blog post originally started out 333333333333…33333333333333333333.333333333333333333333333333333333333…… 3333333333333333333.333333333333333333333333333.33333333333333.

Now I know my poor friend the Queen would look at the time this post was published and go “oh gosh, why would you be tired at 11:20pm? Weird!” and would then remind me that she hasn’t slept all through the night in like a week because the princesses have been generously sharing some form of plague back and forth between themselves and just today were kind enough to pass it on to the King and then she would suggest that maybe, just maybe I should go to BED and sleep THERE.

But we know that’s crazy talk.

Also the late night thing doesn’t explain the falling asleep at the red light or the evening meeting on Monday or any of the other eleventy-three times I have been sleepy since… um Halloween.

So I’m going to the doctor. And I have theories three and they are:

1. I have a sinus infection and have since the Christmas cold
2. I have a vitamin D deficiency. I need more D. (or shoul I say “I nee more d”)
3. I’m actually part bear and should be hibernating every winter. (this is my favorite theory, although I have concerns about what will be necessary to prove this. I’m afraid there will be shots.)

I really have only one symptom to support the sinus infection theory, and that is green boogers. Since the Christmas cold there has been a steady supply of neon green bats in my nose-caves. I kept waiting for any additional symptoms and nothing’s showed up, but I’m going to the doctor anyway so I figure I’ll ask about the boogers either way.

As for the vitamin D deficiency, it’s apparently THE cool thing of which to be deficient these days. Just ask Oprah. She mentioned it on some little show she does (it must be nice to be leader of the free world) and now all the clinics are being bombarded with calls about people who think they’re dying from a lack of D. You normally get your D from the sun through your skin, but it’s been a little winterish the last few months and that tends to make one bundle up and the sun can’t penetrate the sweaters and coats and hence the deficiency. And I know you’re probably saying to yourself what I said to myself which was “well hell, I’ll just go to the store and get some Vitamin D. They sell the entire vitamin alphabet there, so…” then I found out that if you ARE deficient you have to take 50,000 mg per week. And the vitamins you can get from the store are 1,000 mg capsules. So to self-medicate I’d have to buy and consume an entire bottle of 50 pills each week. And I hate to take pills, so… I’d rather gargle a vase of marbles, ya know?

Where was I? Oh, right – goin’ to the doctor.

I can’t get in until next Friday because someone was crazy enough to let my doctor go on vacation (ridiculous) so I’ll have to try to stay awake for the next week or so. Also will try to resist stealing any pic-a-nic baskets.

1 comment:

Bridget said...

OK, I promise not to harp on you about your sleeping habits, IF you promise to tell the doctor what your sleeping habits are!