Friday, December 18, 2009

Returns from the (not) Dead

OK, so first thing’s first: I am NOT dead. Repeat: NOT DEAD.

However I do very much suck, the chief evidence of which is my whole having abandoned my blog for the last 6 months. For the one or two people who still read (and what the heck are you thinking???) I owe you such the explanation.

Let me start by cataloging everything that has changed in the last 6 months:
  • I moved to another state
  • I got a super-cool new job
  • I lost a bunch of weight and got myself into really good shape again
  • I took a martial arts class for a month (the start of many such things I hope?)
  • I’m making real money for the first time in my life!
However in all honesty none of those things can really be held responsible for my lack of blogging. I hate to admit it, but it all comes down to one thing: a guy.

If you were reading before (or have the ability to scroll down) you’ll remember my last post was all about how I’d found this English dude to chat with online. Nothing serious or long-term or anything. Just good fun. And CERTAINLY nothing that ever could or would become love. Remember that? Remember how I was so very sure I could never love Mr. English flirty guy? Yeah, well…

Last Monday was the 6 month anniversary of our connecting.

Oh my good and true internets, I cannot believe that I can say this, but the total truth of the matter is this: I am in love.

Now this isn’t even the most amazing part of it to me. This is actually the first time in my entire life that I’ve ever actually BEEN in love. There was this other guy over a dozen years ago that I kind of thought might be serious emotions, but now that I have this to compare it to it’s more than obvious that the douchebag from Jersey was crap and more crap. This. This is TRUE love.

Lest you think that this is the end of the big love hunt I should clarify all the many and asundry challenges in this relationship. We start with the distance – a continent and an ocean. Accompanying that is the 8-hour time difference. Next there is a pretty damned substantial age difference. There are other things that could also be pointed out, although those mentioned are really the biggies and are CERTAINLY big enough! And yet amazingly we just keep going and going.

About 2-3 months after he and I met (ooh, he needs a nickname, doesn’t he? I’ll think of it…) I got offered an incredibly good job opportunity in another city. In another state. This was kind of the answer to all sorts of “first star I see tonight” wishes that I could change my job situation, as the job I had in Hippyville was completely making me nuts. In the bad way. This new opportunity is in a leadership position for a start-up company. As opposed to my previous job I finally have a little control of my destiny at work, as well as really being challenged and pushed. I would be lying if I said I didn’t wish it could calm down JUST A LITTLE, but between being bored out of my skull or being really challenged I’d take challenged any time.

And as my sweety would say, I kick ass at this job.

The change of job and change of city in which I’m living have coincided with a paycheck that I could actually enjoy. And that paycheck lead to me being able to subsidize English Guy and I actually meeting for the Labor Day weekend! We’d been spending hours talking online (I love Skype with every fiber of my being and should totally buy stock in it!!!) every single day and yet we worried that we’d have no face-to-face chemistry when in the same space. This turned out to be a ridiculous fear and the four days spent together were the most passionate and exciting of my life. Believe it or not, the great stone heart actually shed tears when I had to put him back on a plane.

Therefore it’s great thrills and chills that I face his return a week from Sunday.

I could go on and on and I will over the coming weeks and months I hope, but I’ll wrap this up with the following incredibly unlike me gushing:

He’s amazing. He’s brilliant and so damned mature (especially for his age but even without that caveat) and he gets me like nobody ever does. He makes me laugh, and even more important he lets me make HIM laugh! We have a ton in common – so much so that it shifted somewhere along the line from quaint and cute to almost creepy – and his voice can melt me like butter on popcorn every. Single. Time…

Just wait. There WILL be more.