In a word: Woah.

So I finally got through the profile on my online dating site of choice. The people who complained that the profile takes forever to get through? I'm sending them all cakes that say "understatement of the year." Several days, people! Now granted I couldn't just sit and do it (because then when would I have written my posts to you guys?) but even if I had done so we're talking over an hour easy. I was all cranky and bitter and "screw you guys, I'm goin' home!" when I was finished.

Then they said "OK, do you want to see info about who we think you're looking for?" Well hell, I'd taken the time so I might as well check out the results.

It's spooky! We're not talking "tall, blond, must like dogs, no creeps, must like color blue...," which is what I was expecting. These are detailed descriptions of all sorts of aspects of a person's personality and character, spelled out to the point that you're matching famous movie characters to each one! Here are some examples of the dude I'm apparently perfectly matched to:

Some important qualities that your ideal partner brings to the relationship are:
He has a great sense of humor.
His friends all appreciate his ability to make people laugh on occasion.
He is usually open-minded and flexible.
He is generally pretty happy about his life.

...all true. I mean if you asked me "what are you looking for in a guy?" I wouldn't have pulled on a cardigan sweater, grabbed my meerschaum pipe and said in a mock english accent "That he have a great sense of humor, have friends that appreciate his ability to make people laugh on occasion, is usually..." But I don't look at this list and say "this is totally not me." Another nugget:

Kindness: Your ideal mate is the kind of person who wants to
support you through life's ups and downs. He will be willing to be there for you emotionally, but he may not always know the best way how. You don't need the perfect man, but you will do best with someone who tries to be sensitive to your feelings, even if he isn't always perfectly attuned to your needs. You and your ideal mate will be mutually supportive, but won't demand more from each other than you are willing to give.

...also true! I especially appreciated the inclusion about being mutually supportive, but not demanding more that one could give.

I'm surfing through page after page of these determinations regarding both who I am and who I'm looking for and it's really familiar! Man, you gotta know I didn't want to give an ounce of merit to all the questions, questions, questions I had to wade through in the dang profile. But it's hard to argue with the end result.

I do think that the net they're casting is a bit wide. It reminds me of psychics in a nightclub act. They know how to throw out general enough "predictions" that they're bound to find someone who connects. After all, it's not like someone's ideal mate will be a person who has a bad sense of humor, or who doesn't want to support their mate. Still, we all know from worshipping at the idol Google that the way to improve your search results is to widen your parameters.

I now have to do the following few things:
-take a digital picture suitable for posting. (shudder.)
-decide if I'm going to sign up w/ this site and, if so, for how long.
-commit.