But I'm not the perfect me yet!

So as I mentioned before I spent some time reading all of these online review sites with people ranting and raving about what they hated (or loved, but mostly hated) about the particular online matchmaking site they tried. Many of them are very lame reviews, by people who either expected way too much from the experience ("why are all the people on these sites so average looking? Fix yourself up, people!") or are of the "when it goes wrong who can I blame other than myself" club.

I wanted to scoff at the people who complained about the pickings being slim. Could this be why you're still single -- because nobody is good enough for you? But it got me to thinking about one of my concerns about embarking on this... oh heck, let's call it an adventure. We'll call it that now, before I'm actually experiencing it and it has to be called something more ironic...

How do I put myself out there as (supposedly) a good catch when there are so many things about me that I'm not happy with? Physically I'd like to be more fit and slimmer, and smarts-wize I never did get a college degree. But the one that I really wish I could avoid telling people is the job thing. I have no career. I'm one of these folks who is stranded in a J-O-B so as to keep bringing in the money for rent and insurance and other necessities. I'd love (sorry, make that LOVE!!!) to be self-employed, but the skills I have acquired over my 20 years in the work force are not those that can be done freelance. ("What do you do for a living?" "I'm a freelance Office Manager. Need your office managed for a day or so?") So I'm stuck, and I therefore hate to answer that classic of ice-breaker questions, "so, what do you do?" Here are the answers I'm toying with:

• "As little as possible!" - has the double-advantages of being both lame and cliche
• "I'm retired -- I invented dice" - those of you who know this quote are automatically cool. Congrats. (the rest of you need to step it up, but I'm rooting for ya...)
• "I'm a secret shopper. Actually, I'm secretly shopping right now!"
• "What do YOU do?" - SunTzu once said, the best defense is a good offense!

As a chum of mine was first embarking on this very same "adventure" a while ago she would tell me about these people she'd found, and how sweet and cute and great and funny and etc., etc., etc., they all were. And I always asked her the same question: "So, what's wrong with them?" It's not that I'm bitter (generally) but more that if they were amazing catches they would probably not be looking for love online.

I'm not saying that everyone I'm gonna meet is an axe murderer or rapist or Republican. But they're all going to have the baggage that has tanked their pursuit of wove through traditional means. Maybe they're single parents who can't get out much? Or they work unbelievable hours, and therefore again can't get out much. Or they're shy, or they're not shy enough or they're chubby or anorexic or eat with their mouth open or WHATEVER! I'm not judging (yet) but I'm saying: don't go at this expecting that you'll find someone who is completely perfect. That's hard enough to find in the best of situations, and if you're surfing for wove you are not in the best of situations. Know that going in, right?

So what's wrong with me? We'll get there, don't worry.

(Have I signed up on a site yet? Nope -- haven't been able to get all the way through the frigging profile yet!)