Happy birthday to blog, happy birthday to blog, happy birthday to “unlikely In Love”, happy birthday to blog!!
Now, where is my cake? Hellooo? Did NOBODY ring me a cake? Disappointing.
Yes, people, you have been crazily reading this thang for a year. Can you believe it? ME NEITHER. When I started this thing last September I wasn’t sure there would be a week’s worth of things to write about, let alone a year. So I did a bunch of stuff towards the idea of “a woman looking for wove” because it was the thing I’d decided to focus on. Here we are a year later and I’ve learned a few things:
I really like writing.
I really like myself, overall.
I really don’t like pursuing romance.
I other words: I want to quit the hunt!
Don’t get me wrong, people: I’m not saying “I will never be in a relationship” or “I vow to be single forever!” First, I don’t make vows. Vowing is a lost artform, and I don’t work in that medium. Other then a wedding how often do you hear people really make vows? I’m just saying.
Also I’m not anti-relationship. I’ve always had the same feeling there: I’d like to have a relationship if it happened. I see folks around me who are all in-lovey and they seem pretty happy about it, and yippy for them.
I just don’t want to work at it anymore.
Call me lazy, call me a quitter, call me skippy. (I won’t answer to any of them, just so you know. Especially skippy.) It’s not about that. It’s about this: for me pursuing this makes me feel many kinds of bad. I just don’t like it at all.
When I’m at my new excellent job I feel excellent, because I’m good at what I do and people tell me that they appreciate me for my work and I can really succeed just by working my ass off. My job makes me feel excellent.
When I’m at my tap class I’m floating like a butterfly while also stinging like a bee. I look cool and I’m part of this bigger thing that looks cool and it’s fun like kicking paintball ass! My tap class makes me feel cool.
When I’m writing I feel creative and smart and even funny sometimes and I have a solid confidence that you crazy betches will enjoy some of what I do when I put digits to keys. (Wove ya, you crazy betches!) My blog makes me feel clever.
When I’m trying to find a dude I feel fat and dorky and insecure and desperate. I get much more rejection then anything else, mostly because I’m putting myself out there in the line of rejection fire. I’m making this relationship thing seem tremendously important to me when it just ISN’T and that makes me feel stupid. Hunting for a dude makes me feel just plain bad.
So here’s the plan for the future of the blog: I’m a single woman who is really good at being single, and who doesn’t feel bad about it. Heck, I’m so good at being a single woman I’m gonna go to the local community college and offer to teach a class on it! And that’s what I’ll be writing about from now on. Maybe there are other single dames out there who need to feel better about living a life mano-e-no-mano? Come to me, my students! Because I’m here to tell you that being single is just fine – follow me!
One last thing: there will still be talk of men. I saw Mr. Rockstar yesterday and he’s even hotter then I thought. I went to a party and made a point to know if there were any single men there (nope) just in case. I am not becoming a nun or taking a vow of celibacy (see previous paragraph regarding taking vows) or swearing off of men. I’m just not chasing anymore – I’d rather be chased.