Thursday, February 14, 2008

My lameness – let me show you it.

I get to my desk this morning and it’s been liberally sprinkled with things of a chocolate and/or heart-like nature. I think to myself “oh, how nice! My co-workers left me spontaneous chocolate! This must be because yesterday was such a rough day (which it was, but still) and thought I needed a boost. Big, sloppy heart-thumps!”

I look over at my neighbor’s desk. Where normally there would be a file sorter or box of tissue there has sprouted a great, big bunch of fabulous flowers. I think to myself “Wowzers! I wonder if it’s her wedding anniversary?”

A second bouquet of flowers comes through the door, and as I’m directing the lost delivery girl to the right office I marvel at the odds of two big bouquets being delivered on one day. “I will write this in my diary, so unlikely are the odds!” thinks I.

A third person wanders by dressed in reddy-pinky-rosey shades. I wish I’d worn the red shirt I almost picked out, except that it won’t fit over my arm therapy thing (I’ll tell you later), because then I would also be rosey-hued and wouldn’t that be funny!

I go to start my official list for the day and write “Thursday, 2/14/08” at the top. And then I bonk my head on the desk, because clearly there’s nothing in this big melon of mine to be damaged by head-bonking! Clearly any brains inside this piñata on my neck are ornamental! Clearly I’m as observant as a blind sloth on LSD, because hey, guess what everybody? It’s big, dumb VALENTINES DAY!!!

I return to wallowing in my lameness – I hope you got candies.

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