So one of my dream jobs/careers would be to write for a living. I’ve really idealized it into this existence where I would sleep until 9am each morning, and then I’d get up and sit in front of my computer, snuggled in some artful cardigan sweater, cradling my steaming coffee cup, tremendous and excellent words pouring out of my fingers into my next great novel. And I make big, fancy money and magical benefits, and I’m creative and inspired and get to travel to fabulous places to have fans tell me how much they loved my last book. And I would always feel fulfilled and sure of my place in the universe and I would love what I do for a living.
Now of course this dream is ridiculous and impossible. I hate coffee, and I bet authors never get dental, so clearly this is a fantasy. (and the first one of you that points out that you’ve been reading my words for some time now and have yet to be inspired or moved, or even particularly clear on what the hell I’m talking about, gets an e-sock on the side of your e-head!)
The other reason that this idea seems impossible is that it’s all that I can do to try to keep up here on this blog. I’m so embarrassed when I see that many days have passed and I have no new words. All the time I’m coming up with something that seems very post-worthy on the way home from work or standing in the shower, but I can’t actually compose the post on the bike or in the shower and making other times happen is hard! Or I’ll start a post, but when I come back to it much later I have no idea where the heck I thought I was going with that thought. OR I write down the initial thought, but can’t find any associated thoughts that want to come play with the initial thought. My creative thoughts apparently don’t play well with others.
Not that I’m willing to cut other bloggers any slack when they don’t post. I have blogs that I check every day and periodically there will be a day when NOBODY has done a new post. And do I say “oh gosh and golly, I’ll bet that he/she had a long day at work or had to go to tap class or was kidnapped by the Burmese Liberation Army (notorious for still connecting to the web via dial-up) and just couldn’t get a new post written. I understand completely.” Yeah, because I’m ever so reasonable and level-headed. You must be new…
I have a friend who blogs (blogged long before I did actually) and who will take these occasional long, big gaps in her blogging, which would be fine except for three things: 1) I love to read her blog and when she doesn’t update I have no new blog to read; 2) sometimes when bloggers you know update their blog they mention you and I seriously crave the attention!! and 3) due to her non-lovin’ of writing emails or chatting on the phone or living less than 90 minutes away from Hippyville the way I know what’s going on in her life is when she updates her blog! (and she knows who she are and she also knows that “where the heck does Femtastic get off telling me to hurry up and blog when she knows that I have 2 kids and a husband and a job and 2 Etsy stores and 47 hobbies I’m currently trying to do as well as another 236 that I’ve not yet found the time to do and when was the last time she mentioned ME in HER blog and YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!!!” Which are all excellent, fair and good points. Maybe she would like to blog about them?)
On those nights when I’m sitting on my couch, watching dreadful tv and falling asleep, while knowing that I should be in the office squeezing thoughts out of my tiny brain onto this page, I think this: if you are ever going to have a career instead of a job; if you’re ever going to do what you enjoy rather than feeling like you’re wasting your time; if you’re ever going to be able to sleep until 9am on a Tuesday without being unemployed you must GET OFF YOUR ASS AND WRITE SOMETHING.
Either that, or learn how to curve the bullet to become a super-cool rockstar assassin. Your choice.