Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Only real requirement: be a woman. Check and check!

Last night I went back for my second experience w/ the Woman's Group. Now, did you guys notice just how funky that reads? It's not me, right? The Woman's Group. ooooOOOOhhhh! Yeah, this thing definitely needs a nickname. We're going to call it the Babe Brigade! No, how about Uterus Union! Oh, I know: The Estrogen Experience! (woah, that last one sounds like a name for an all-female Pink Floyd cover band and lazer light show!) OK, so the name needs a little thinking. For this post we'll just call it the WG, so you'll know what the heck I'm talking about without me having to type out the Woman's Group each time. And therefore feel goofy.

ANYWAY, the meeting for me started off a wee pinch rough because I was late. Something that folks should get used to when they know me. I'm not someone who can make "punctual" a high priority, because I always miss-gauge how long it will take me to do something. And so, when I got there the building in which the meetings happen (a cool, futuristic looking office building made of black metal and dark glass which is kind of the Deathstar of office buildings in our small hamlet) was all locked up! They were up there, on the 4th floor, having a lovely meeting of like minds and I was like minded and wanted to meet, but I could not get there.

But I remembered what the rule was: if you're late, call! So I called the magic number that I thought was key and it rang, and rang, and rang... ring... ring... aaaaaand message. Dang. Message, which means one of three things:

1) I've mis-remembered what number to call if I'm late.
2) The person who's number this is decided not to come to tonight's meeting.
3) Turns out they hate me, so they see I'm calling and they all gather around the cell phone and say things like "oh ugh, not her -- let's not answer! Tee hee, giggle and twitter, aren't we a fabulous flashback to insecure highschool!" and then they talk about fashion and boys and fashion and thank their lucky stars that I'm always, always late.

In case it was reason #1 I was lucky that where I work is 2 buildings down from the Deathstar, so I walked down, turned on the computer and logged on and all the other copious amounts of security crap involved in just using the computer, and I went to their website and checked the number on the website aaaaaaaand... it's the same one that I called before. Sigh.

So I walked back to the Deathstar to see if anyone was standing by the door wondering where oh where had I gone, since they'd come a-runnin' all the way down the stairs (because the sense of urgency of wanting me to join their meeting made the elevator too, too slow!) just for me. Finding the door still locked I called the magic number again -- message -- and again -- message -- and again, and seriously would someone be on the other end of this line? If I squint can I see up to the meeting room? Are they staring and pointing and laughing? I made one last try (I'd not been leaving messages beyond the first one, by the way -- didn't want to seem desperate. HA!!) and was going to leave message #2 to say "hey, nevermind. I'm heading out and I'll try again next week." and low and behold there was life on the other end!

Turns out it was option #4: "I had totally forgotten you were coming tonight and had turned my phone on vibrate." I didn't feel at all like a doofus with all the calling. And I'm sure the 16 calls listed on her phone made me seem very confident and self-assure. They'll probably vote me queen of WG next.

But once I made it into the building things went much more smoothly. There were some familiar faces and some new ones and everyone was, once again, cool and cashz (how the hell do you spell "cashz" like short for casual?!?! clearly a word never meant to be put down in letters.) and excellent. Certainly if I were judging these evenings just on the people there I'd be sold on coming for always and for true!

But what I noticed is that the topics once again focused ever so much on relationship stuff. Last time it was "intimate relationships" and this time it was "communication." Not that these things are exclusively for romantic relationships, but they tend to lend themselves to those situations, especially in the WG. I just feel kind of like a fraud or like I'm wasting their time since these things don't much apply to me. I can't really spit out brilliant contributions since I am neither involved in these, nor do I have much in the way of experience to draw from. That would be like getting parenting advice from George Clooney. (which I'd do, just to have a reason to sit and watch his lips move. Sure hope I didn't just type that out loud...)

Yeah, I'd about decided that this might not be the right place for me when someone mentioned that they were talking to Habitat for Humanity about doing a project there. And someone else (or gosh, was it maybe even the same lady?) then mentioned that they'd like to do something about finances or budgets, etc., as a topic for a future month. Now we're talking! Maybe, I realized, I'm just starting during a month where the focus is oh-so much on "how to get your guy to make you as happy as does your dog!", but that the future could hold other themes where I COULD contribute! So I'm gonna keep doing this, at least for the foreseeable future. Or until they finally find out that I'm the most single woman ever, ever, ever and suggest I find a "singlest women ever, ever, ever group." (or SWEEEG.)

In the meantime, I made a KILLER name sign!

1 comment:

Queen said...

Actually I kind of like Babe Brigade, but that's just my opinion!