Thanks, Dad! Thanks a bunch!

So, today is Father's Day. Me, I love my Dad. I do. Heck, many people would probably characterize me as a Daddy's Girl, in that I have many things in common w/ Dad and also I idolize him (and Mom too, but we're talking about Dad right now) far beyond any rational or reasonable expectation. What I'm saying here is that I'm a big Dad Fan.

And yet I blame him for much of my trouble w/ "finding wove." Because, you see, I grew up figuring that guys were generally like my Dad, and they are SO NOT. My Dad is extremely unique in the world of men, and while that was excellent growing up and is excellent for my Mom and all that, it really confused the guy question for me. I mean, how can you hope to find a guy just like dear old Dad when dear old Dad isn't like pretty much any other guys? For example...

My Dad doesn't do sports, except for car sports. He's not what you would call competitive, and definitely not sporty competitive. My Dad has never been one for the mean funny, or "I was just messing with him" humor or any kind of digit-pulling or arm punching. The only fight my Dad has ever been in was when a dude in his office sucker-punched him for being a damned hippy peace freak -- it was the 60's -- and my Dad didn't even punch back. Dad likes musicals and listens to James Taylor and Annie Lennox (among bunches of others.) He whistles like he's been concert-trained, saves spiders caught in the house, likes cats but not dogs (nothing evil but just not a dog person)...

Dad and I mutually love Looney Tunes cartoons, comic books, Stephen Sondheim, watching NASCAR, Lost and Boston Legal, going to the zoo, eating bagels and ice cream (but SO not at the same time!) and stand-up comedy. We mutually don't get why so many guys prefer to be crapweasels and then apologize to just not being crapweasels in the first place, or why someone would find it funny to screw with a friend (I'm talking to you, Ashton Kutcher) or necessary to punch a rival.

It's not that men like my Dad don't exist -- they do. They're my uncles and my cousins and someday my nephews. Oh, and they're off limits. (I know you already knew that, but I wanted to make sure that you knew that I know that they're off limits, ya know?) So the good news is that I've been surrounded my whole life by these tremendously cool guys who are kind of exactly what many woman say they're looking for, and the bad news is that they've spoiled me for all the crappy men who are out there looking for dates. So I say to my father thank you! And also curse you (and I shake my fist at the sky.) And thanks to my Mom for finding him in the first place. And, of course, happy Father's day.