Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Could be Worse. Could be Crunch Berries!

Hi, my name is Femtastic and I am a photography addict.

(Hi, Femtastic!)

I’m not kidding, and here’s how I discovered my addiction: remember before how I said that we (a whole bunch of us, more then ½ of whom were cute little kidkins?) went to the super-fun farm to feed goats and get punchmans? Remember that? Just yesterday? Anyone? Anyone?

Right, so as we pulled into the parking lot I thought to myself “gosh, there will be EVER so many lovely chances to take excellent pictures, especially since it’s so nice and sunny and lovely here and you can hardly even tell that it’s FALL it’s so nice and sunny! I’m going to take all these great pictures with my camera. EXCEPT THAT I FORGOT MY CAMERA AT HOME!!!!” Then I melted into a tiny moment of wailing and gnashing of teeth and pulling of hair and cursing the day I was born. It was tiny, but impressive.

But then I accepted the lack of camera and moved on with the day. The kids fed goats and I was fine. They played on the old-timey playground structures and I was fine. They rode by on the old-timey horse-drawn wagon thing and I was fine. I handled it all extremely well.

BIG, BIG LIE. I spent the rest of the afternoon cursing myself every time a wonderful picture popped up. A wonderful picture that I was incapable of capturing for myself because my picture-capturing device was so very NOT THERE. Three times I almost convinced myself to drive the 25 minutes home and additional 25 minutes back just to get the camera. I watched other people with lovely cameras taking the lovely pictures that I wanted to take and my stomach hurt. My Stomach HURT ME. To punish me for the stupidity of being the only person there who WASN’T capturing these lovely, idyllic moments. THE ONLY PERSON!

Finally I just had to accept the fact that I am now a person who has not just two additions, but actually three. Pepsi (sweet, carmel-colored goodness…), cheeseburgers and photography. (Lucky that I kicked that pesky heroin thing…) Of course it could be so very, very worse.

Now that I’ve accepted that I have a problem (which is the first step to solving a problem) I’ll just need to figure out the 12 steps to recovery. I believe they’ll look something like this:

1) Take pictures.
2) Take more pictures.
3) Take animal pictures.
4) Take scenic pictures.
5) Pictures of buildings and buildingy stuff.
6) More animals.
7) Is that abstract? Take a picture of it!
8) Take Self portraits (no idea why)
9) Next take Portraits of others, because then I capture their soul!
10) Take portraits of strangers, but be ready to RUN LIKE CRAZY.
11) Download and bask in the glow of excellent pictureness.
12) Repeat steps 1-11 until crazy.

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