Because now I can blame YOU guys!

You foolish, foolish people… Why do you encourage me the way you do? (Oh, and by the way? LOVE YOU FOR THE ENCOURAGING THE WAY YOU DO! Many E-Smooches for the comments on the last post! And to those of you who have not yet commented on this post, let me just tell you that commenting will make you feel minty fresh AND will unlock the secrets of getting into some kind of E-Heaven. I’m just sayin…) Thanks to Bridget and the Anonymous but OH SO WIZE AND CLEVER commenter I’m gonna keep going. Because I might spin a tale! Because I deserve happiness! But mostly because otherwise Bridget will stop reading. (mean!)

So when last we saw our heroin she had completed all of the official E-Melody assignments. Multiple choice questions and “how much I hate these things” vs. “how much I hate anyone who ISN’T these things” and then essay questions (which, by the way, I’m pretty sure I totally aced! I feel really good about the essay portion of my exam! I used some excellent SAT words, like “illusory” and “obfuscate”, and I demonstrated a connection between my personality and the mythic beauty of Helen of Troy.) and now? NOW?

Now “Mr. Carl is taking his turn to read Dr. Warren's open communication message and send you his first message.”

Apparently if you get through all the gates and tunnels and adventurous other communication-challenges you get lectured by some guy. Also? I don’t get to read the lecture until Mr. Carl is done reading the lecture and sending me his first message. Like this knowledge is too valuable to give to both of us. Like they have just the one copy of the lecture-knowledge, and I can’t see it until Mr. Carl is done, and also please don’t fold or crease the knowledge and don’t write in the margins because we need it to be in good condition for the next folks.

Fmeh.

Now I don’t know if I’m allowed to share the special, magical Dr. Warren knowledge with you guys. It’s possible that I’ll be required to sign a bunch of legal documents swearing me to secrecy and saying that if I DO share the knowledge I have to give E-Melody something important like my driver’s license. Or a kidney.

(If I share the special, magical knowledge of wove and womance and “how to please your man!” and they make me give up a kidney I’m sure one of you wonderful, encouraging readers will give me one of yours, right?)