Sunday, February 04, 2007

I have no response to that...

Well is off to a pretty good start. Not more then 48 hours after I posted all the wonderfulness that is me I had over a dozen fellows checking me out. More than that, one even sent me an email. Due to the wonders of technology this email came right to my regular email inbox, so I found it during my usually boring morning check-in. And I'll admit that my first response was to be excited! More so then I would have expected really. "Ooh, looky!" I thought to myself, "someone was already interested enough to reach out! Take that,!" and I triumphantly opened up the email from this, my first official suitor! And I found this:

i thought i was to be of this site a couple of days ago so i dumped the information off my profile. well match did a auto renew that was not approved so i did some changes on the profile and need to put up better pictures. see ya.

.....blink. Blink. Blink.....

What do I do with this? I feel like this was not a message to make a connection, but more of an FYI. "Hey," he seems to be saying, "just in case you go looking and find my profile and wonder why there's no info and the pictures aren't very good, here's the deal." I read it like I was scoring it, like the guy that takes you out to pass the driving test for your first license. "Hmm, can't spell "off" - check. Ooh, blames the technology for his not knowing how the system worked - check. Ouch, has been here for at least a month and has yet to put up good pictures - check. Hey, would you pass me the "FAIL" stamp for this application?" Needless to say, I think I've already got an insight into why this guy is looking for a little help with his matchmaking.

To be sure I wasn't judging him unfairly based on one less-then-stellar email I did go and check out his profile. He's not for me. I mean he's not a serial killer or skinhead or anything overtly "Gah!!" like that, but there's no click. No "pow!" No "where have you been all my life!" Based on the pics that were there, all my life he's been laying pipe under houses. (He even had pictures of the pipe. And the houses. With no sign of him in the picture at all. No idea why.) And I have to wonder if he's looked at my profile, beyond my (clearly GENIUS!) headline. We don't match on much beyond the physical. And you gotta love any guy who answers the question "what do you do for fun?" with the fact that he's spending all his fun time on "e-mailing candidates that do not respond in general, they seem to have a lot of hang ups." Ooh, tell me more, big daddy! I love bitter, disgruntled guys who make big, sweeping generalizations about the rest of the world!

Still, I was trying to find a way to see this as a positive step that I should take. After the bust that was I thought I should do whatever I could to make this a more productive endeavor. But the nail in the coffin for me was this phrase:
"...they make a lot of money and do not need what they are looking for..."
Yeah, see ya buddy.

As you guys already know about me, this pursuit is absolutely not one of need. I'm not searching for someone to take care of me, or support me, or solve all of my problems. I can take care of myself and do it pretty dang well. I have been supporting myself for close to 20 years, thanks. No guy will ever be able to solve all of my problems and I don't want one to. It's as my Granny said when explaining why her marriage to my grandfather didn't work out: "He wanted me to need him, and I didn't. I chose him, I loved him and I wanted him, but I didn't need him."

I'm not looking for a hero or a solution or a parachute. I'm looking for a buddy or a partner or a good foil. But until the right person comes along I'm doing just fine. I can afford to be choosy. And choosy I shall be! So I sent this first suitor (whom I will call Bitterman) one of's pre-crafted "no thanks" emails, saying basically that we're not a good match. (they didn't have one that said "I'm just gonna dissapoint you like all the others before me, and why would you want to go through that yet again? So just assume I'm another one of those damn self-sufficient bitches and move on. Have you considered something in a mail-order-type-deal, say from somewhere super-crappy?")

So what we know now is that is a faster process then, but that the matching may be just as funky. May be. Stay tuned!

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