But what works even better, have found I, is things called facts! Knowledge supported by this stuff they call data, which has much more credibility (apparently) then just "because I said so and shut up, you!" Now, getting bonafide data for the kind of crap I've been writing about is not easy. Seriously not. But all of the sudden a holiday like Valentines Day comes along and reports and studies come dropping from the sky!00
Today we're covering some math knowledge: according to a study done recently by my tiny local newspaper it turns out that the lack of mateness that I'm experiencing here is totally not my fault. It's just a matter of the math. My city has more than it's fair share of unwed womens!
The study says that there are 60% unmarried women in my town (even the town is innocent enough to need protecting, so I'll just call it Hippyville), compared to the national average of 48%. They had many reasons why this would be:
- we're a college town and ejamacated womens don't tend to need mens to care and feed them quite as much, so they don't get quite so married.
- we've got a higher-than-normal lesbian population (hmmm, maybe I am being too picky?...) and though LORD KNOWS the lesbians would love to be part of the married population, we all know that such a thing would cause an end to the world as we know it, as well as a serious down-turn in the sale of women's razors, a run on sales of CDs by KD Lang, Melissa Etheridge and the Indigo Girls and plagues of locusts.
- We liberated lady-types don't always marry those we hook up with, so many of these women may be in long-time, committed relationships that just don't happen to include licenses, blood tests, salad shooters and gravy boats. (toot, toot!)
But for me I'm just focusing on the numbers. Especially these numbers:
"There are 7,000 more unmarried women then unmarried men in the city of Hippyville..."
So I guess I need to start finding these 6,999 other non-married women (or, as I shall now call them, NMWs) and talk them into marrying those I don't want (also known as the population of Wove.com and possibly Yenta.com) or into moving away. Hey, I hear things are nice in AnywhereButHereburg!
Tomorrow: the science.