Thursday, July 05, 2007

Some say now that I need either a dude or a dog.

Wednesday, July 4th at Midnight:o'clock I had a purse, containing all the pursy things that purses are supposed to have (plus also a new CD and the rockinest cool set of pens in an assortment of colors).

Wednesday, July 4th at 2:15am I had one no longer.

Who knew such a thing could change so quickly and so suddenly and all while you were accidentally asleep on your couch, the purse hanging 8 feet away on your coat tree?

Yeah, I was the (I'm not going to say victim. Not just not this time but not EVER. I've never been a victim and I'm not gonna change that now!) unlucky recipient of a visit from some nefarious individual w/ very quiet shoes and sticky fingers. As far as I can tell (and the cops think I've got a pretty good handle on the events) I dozed off in my hot living room watching the tv some time just after midnight just sitting on my couch. Sometime between then and when I woke up again (with a jaunty "oh crap, I was going to do things before I fell asleep!!" tripping off my lips) at 2:15am somebody wandered off the sidewalk to my front door, determined that my impromptu nap was a hearty one and that they could get inside, grab my purse and book it without waking me. And they were right! (and they were also great bastards.)

Was my front door closed and locked? No. It wasn't locked because I don't lock my doors until I go to sleep (and sometimes not even then, in which case whoopsie!) and it wasn't closed because the only way to cool off my house in these dog days of summer is to push the cool air from the back of the house through the front door of the living room. (I use an elaborate series of fans because the waving of my arms wasn't so effective. Stupid arms...) I have no windows that can be opened in my living room. My screen door was closed and my drapes closed and there's no question that it wasn't the most secure situation in the world. But I don't live in the hood, people. My neighborhood isn't wrought with gang wars and rapes and slashers and such. And I wasn't planning the nap.

The cop told me that he was pretty amazed that someone would actually enter a house with me 10 feet from the door, let alone at night (since the massive majority of the crime in our area is by tweakers looking for quick cash with which to score another hit, and mostly done during the day when there's nobody home)

All in all it's not such a big deal. The only significant inconvenience left to tackle is getting a key for my car, since both my regular one and the spare were in my purse. (Seriously, it made sense at the time!) I've re-keyed the house, shut off all the cards and such, secured my bank info and called (almost) all of the identity theft people I need to call. Right now the biggest bummer for me is the impact this has had on how all of my people see me.

See, before that moment on 7/4/07 I was a self-sufficient single woman who had lived alone for years and never had much damage to show for it. I was able to say "I can take care of myself" and nobody dared challenge the assertion because I was so ornery (or "awnry" as I like to say it!) and because there was no evidence to the contrary. But since 2am Wednesday I've got people questioning my choices and my decisions and feeling bad for me and I hate it all. I honestly considered keeping the whole thing to myself, but since I needed some help I called The Parents, and I knew I couldn't ask them to keep it quiet. It's just not the way of my people.

And I know that my people are all coming from a place of love! That's our place -- the place of love! It sounds like a sixties hash house-slash-coffee shop, with excellent pie (except the strawberry rhubarb - skip that) and service with a very dreamy smile, but really it's the key to our people. So I can't really get pissy about how they are showing their concern. What's going through their heads are "oh my god, what if that guy (yes, we've decided it was a guy. And by "we" I mean me. And by "decided it was a guy" I mean it just was a guy. It just was. A guy.) had done something worse? Thank diety-of-choice she's ok! How scary!" while through my head goes the constant mantra "I just wish I'd have woken up. I'd have killed him dead. So very, very dead his ancestors wouldn't have recognized him."

But I hate that for at least a while I've lost a large chunk of my credibility as a grown-up. I just don't get to be self-sufficient until someone else has a bizarre and crappy twist of fate, allowing me and all of my people to fixate on them and their life. Sigh.

In the meantime, Her Highness thinks if I can't get a guy I should get a dog. I think those who run my house would not agree...

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