Sunday, July 01, 2007

If at first you don't succeed, try the free one.

There's this local version of E-Wove that is also free, and I'm sure you're thinking what I'm thinking: "small-down made and free == scary..." But actually? Not so bad! In fact in some ways this is the dream option for me
  • My second favorite price -- free! (my favorite price is one where I get the thing and also a wad of cash. "here, have wove and also a complimentary toaster oven!" But free is also good.)
  • Just about everybody seems to have a picture. Not a shy crowd!
  • I can't send any emails if I don't shell out any cash. And you know what? I don't WANT to send emails. I can send out a little E-flirt, like those winks or nudges or online footsies, but then I want the other guy to make the first real contact. And I can use my membership status as the excuse for not emailing. Yay for built-in excuses!
I've done a little looking around and so far it actually seems like it could be encouraging. But that doesn't mean there are no turds among the roses. And the roses should take more time to review, so let's take a quick look at the turds I've found so far, shall we?

Mr. Curious: just one picture, but it's excellent! It's of Curious (his tagline, not my idea) getting into his car, sportin' the "rock on!" hand gesture (come on, you all know what I'm talking about. first finger and pinky finger at attention, with the other three at ease. Rock on!) and his arms just FULL of bottles of booze. And not regular sized bottles -- these are Costco-level bottles, like you could use to stand in for barbells! "Rock on, single babes, while I enjoy a little drinking and driving!"

Fashion Icon: Seems like a possibly nice guy, but every single picture (EVERY. SINGLE. ONE.) has him sporting a different Cosby sweater. Every single color of the rainbow appears in each one of them! The pictures themselves seem to strobe on the screen, and I'm concerned that an evening spent across from such sweaters could result in some kind of seizure!

Road Warrior: His picture has him rocking full leathers ala Mad Max, with the shaved head and the futuristic sunglasses. So VERY receptive and inviting! And then his tag line says this: "Spankills." I don't know what it means, but it magically seems to contain both the words "spank" and "kill" So it can't be a good thing.

Puppy Love: You know that I'm a big animal fan, so at first the picture of a guy with his dog seemed cute. Endearing even! But I made the mistake of looking at the rest of the pictures. Each one is a lovely pairing of man and dog. Man and dog. And then my favorite: man letting the dog drive. I really wouldn't feel right about getting between them. They have a love that men and dogs don't find every day!

Unibrow: Need I say more?

...OK, so that would be the "bad news" part. But it also looks like there could be some good news, and frankly I'd just like a new pile of faces to look through! What shall we call this new online source of wove? I dub it ""!

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