Get this: the only thing freakier then going for months and months and not getting an interesting messages? Turns out it's getting an interesting message.
My cheery little email tells me I have a message (more then a nod, better then a wink, less creepy then "eye contact" -- an actual message) from someone on fweewove.com, and in my usual jaded form I approach it with grains and nuggets and boulders of salt. And first thing I notice is this guy also likes to reference being a father in his username, which I still find kind of creepy. So I'm now even more shoulder-chippy.
And this shoulder-chippiness? It’s comfortable. I am relieved this guy is also flawed. Just like everyone else so far. I proceed to find the rest of the flaws so I can craft yet another mocky-mockiting blog post.
But then I read the actual message, and weeelllll crap. He says many of the right things, the bastard! Like he knew some of the authors that I’d referenced and challenged my assertion that I will kick pop culture expert butt on Vh1 (rather then thinking, as any rational person would, “what a sad, sad little woman to have this be a goal.”) and included “going to car races” and “swearing” as things he enjoys to do. Which means there would be things that we could do together! (“we totally cussed this guy out, and it was so romantic we ran home and had racecar sex!”)
But guess what? Not being able to reject the guy was MUCH more freaky then the freaky guys with horns and hooks and dog lovers. Did I mention big old crap? Because CRAP!
I found some things that are definite drawbacks (like dude, if they say they want someone who doesn’t smoke at all I’m not sure it works well to state that “you’re quitting. Again.”) and also he’s older then the oldest guy I said I wanted to meet and might be a vampire (no picture. I know, I know! I totally know!) and he MIGHT be a janitor (and I know it would be wrong of me to reject someone for being a janitor, but I’d probably do it as I am a very bad person) so I’m not web-surfing for china patterns or anything.
But I did reply.
And then thought seriously about puking.
So just when I thought it was time to change the focus of this blog to something more productive (cooking with your feet, snipe-breeding, my feelings about the socio-economic developments in lower-upper-WhosisWhatsis-a-Topia…) something might finally be happening. On the free site, no less!
Needless to say, my peoples, I’ll keep you posted. (except for the puking. I’ll keep that to myself. Which you know is a lie. I keep nothing but the names of the innocent to myself. And sometimes the puking.)