Saturday, November 18, 2006

Questions, answers, other crap...

The good news: someone answered some questions.

The bad news: the answers have me a little worried.

Yes, Princey the pictureless wonder squirrel replied to my questions at last. I am going to be the better virtual-person and not shoot back all sorts of snarky comments about how it could take him three weeks to pick out answers to 5 multiple choice questions. (No, instead I just vent to you guys.) Anyway, here's what I've learned about Princey-Mc-Prince-Prince:

1) When in a relationship, how much personal space do you generally find you need?
A) I don't have a great need for "personal space". I like lots of together time.
2) Your idea of a romantic time would be:
E) candle-lit dinner at home or on beach.
3) Would you rather date someone who is:
E) Open.
4) What is your opinion of traditional gender roles?
C) I'm not at all interested in traditional gender roles and want my mate and me to define our roles on our own.
5) Outside of a romantic relationship, are you competitive?
D) I'm never competitive.

What Princey-palia was probably trying to say:

"Hey, I'm looking for someone I can spend quality time with. I like romance that can be done at any time, rather then just on a special ocasion, and I won't make my work the priority over my relationships. I'm not hung up on gender roles, and will be happy to make dinner while you mow the lawn, and you can win at Monopoly -- that's ok with me, baby.

What my 'freaked-out-about-getting-into-any-relationship' filter heard:

"I will expect you to be with me during every second your of free time and I'll be calling you spontaneously to make sure that you're not somewhere having fun without me. When we're not together I will be unable to breath. There's no such thing as too much spooning. Romance is fine, as long as it will cost me as virtually nothing. I'll be calling you at work just to make sure that you miss me, and will go crazy any time your other life obligations conflict with "us time." Although I don't know why you'd have any other life obligations, considering I expect my woman to be home barefoot and pregnant, traditional ideas of working women be damned. But you can win at Monopoly, Kitten."

Apparently I have baggage. Too much wacka-doo juice running through my veins.

Now I have 5 questions from him to answer. they are:

How often do you lose your temper?
How important is chemistry to you?
Your idea of adventure is:
What kind of exercise do you prefer?
What are your body-type preferences for your mate?

Here's what I, being a bad person, want to do:

1) wait for 6 months to answer.
2) finally answer, but by entering all of my own "other" responses for each, like this:
How often do you lose your temper? -- What the f*ck is that supposed to mean?!?
How important is chemistry to you? -- Now, by chemistry we're talking liquor, right? Or something harder? Know what I mean, know what I mean?
Your idea of adventure is: -- backdoor sex. And I mean your back door.
What kind of exercise do you prefer? -- Is free-form couch-sitting considered excercise? Otherwise I'll have to say backdoor sex again.
What are your body-type preferences for your mate? -- first off, she needs to have a great rack... (that's assuming I can't insert a sound file of "Baby Got Back" as my answer.)

...but I know that it would be very wrong to do these things. After all, this guy is the first one to give me a second look. (wow, that reads as sad.) Anyway, I'll put in honest answers and see if I can scare him away with the real me. Fingers crossed, my peoples!


BCK said...

I still think that 'free-form couch sitting" should be your answer for that one. I mean at least it's honest! ;)

Can't wait to hear more!

Rachel said...

You're so bad! Thanks for making me laugh. It's been a long day.