Tuesday, May 01, 2007

The grande scheme of things

There's this job and I want it.

More then I want a partner I want this job.

More then I want to be skinny so as to better be worthy of a partner I want this job.

More then I want to be sexually refreshed before I die so as to make sure that if there is an afterlife that no snotty angel says to me "really? One person? And you lived to be HOW OLD? And he was an A-Hole too, right?" and then tch, tch, tch's at me and shakes his halo-sportin' head I want THIS JOB.

Just so you understand where the search for love or lust or nooky or whatever falls in the grand scheme of things, it goes like this:

1) happy in my own skin
2) friends and family to be happy and healthy
3) life pursuit (job, career, whatever) that is important to me and makes a difference
4) not be poor. (I don't need to be rich, but I don't ever again want to have to pick between a new mop or dinner.)
and finally...
5) a partner. Or a membership to the chocolate of the month club.

But right now, just about more then anything I want this one new, excellent job.

I won't give too many details -- suffice it to say it's a job that would have many of the things I sit and dream about while at my current job. It would provide me with a feeling of personal pride in my work. I could do something creative with my time. I'd have a stinkin' cool title. (I cannot tell you how high on my list of career priorities "cool title" sits. The day that "Web Master" became an actual title on people's business cards I cried just a little bit. I'd love to be something with "wizard" or "Lord" in it.)

Here's where I'm in "pit of my stomach full of angry pit vipers" stress mode. I applied to this job something like a month ago. I did the whole sh-bang; the resume, the cover letter, samples of my previous work... I was at least impressive enough for them to say "Interesting... Tell me more..." (but in the special hiring manager lingo, dontcha know.) Oh and I gave them more. More awesomeness! And then I knew that I'd have to wait.

And wait. And wait...

I know what you're thinking: "if she would put as much attention and energy and desire into spicing up her love life as her work life this woman would be rolling in dudes!" I think it says something important that the idea of putting this level of interest into my love life just makes me feel tired. Or maybe it's just that a dream guy hasn't showed up, where as the dream job has.

Still, one dream thing at a time. Let me land this big fish and then we'll see what else is floating out there. (come on monthly chocolate!)

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