Woe to be the guy who was waiting at home for me on days like today.
I am cranky. No, sorry, it should be this: CRANKY. I can't exactly explain when it started, and it was probably something very minor. But then websites that I wanted to look at had the audacity of being unavailable! And tools that I need to do my job here at my job were messin' with me! Not working and such! And it got warm enough outside that I was slightly uncomfortable when driving home for lunch! SLIGHTLY TOO WARM! And now I know I'll have to take the life of an innocent bystander before I'm done today. I don't want to, you understand. I have to.
Seriously, I'm normally a pretty jovial person. I'm all light-hearted and cheery and I often make other people's days turn all around just because I'm (as I may have mentioned) goddamn jovial! But then you get a day like today, where it feels like all the annoying things in the world have conspired against me. This kind of day is bad. It's a bad thing. And I become pure, unadulterated evil when exposed to enough of a day such as this.
Oh but see, the evil happens mostly at home. Because that's the thing I love about my home -- nobody there but me! I don't have to be nice to anyone or polite. I can indulge my inner a**hole and nobody else gets hurt. (oh sure, there's the kitties, but they're extremely sensitive to that shift in the air that means "Mama ain't happy!" and they make themselves comfortably scarce.)
I had another post, one that I've been meaning to publish for over a week, that I'd almost finally finished. Almost! And then my day reared it's ugly head and another poor soul was lost to it; the soul of the unpublished post. Now everyone should be very, very impressed that I didn't kill any of the following 3 people who wandered by my desk right after that. They were smiling and cheery and totally unaware of the minefield they were traipsing through. "Tralala!" cheered them as they treekled by, "look how gleeish are we because we have no idea that you're a human bear trap, just waiting to chew off our bottoms!" and they oblivious themselves right by and I DON'T EVEN KILL THEM!
But I don't because I know I can soon go home and grumplemungus around there and get it out of my system w/out actual bloodshed. If there was someone there when I got home, like a partner, I'd have to greet them like this:
"Get out. Get out right now while you still have your life and your precious, precious limbs."
They'd run, but they probably wouldn't run back. Or they would foolishly stay to try to make me feel better and I'd have to spend the bulk of the night burying body parts and scrubbing blood out of the carpet.
Lucky me and lucky everyone else that I'm a single girl on days like today.