No, I haven't forgotten about all of you out there with your very special guesses. How many guys rejected my wink? I know you've been waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I'm sorry that I've been... what, holding up the other shoe? Is that the right phrase? Anyway, I'm sorry I left that hanging for so long. But hey, how 'bout that suspense, eh? Gripping!
OK, so when last we saw our heroine (pssst -- that's me!) she'd jumped in with both fee- er eyelids... eyelids?... she'd jumped in and did a whole pile of winking. Seriously, I winked so much my eyelids cramped up. (note: both eyelids cramped, for I can wink with either eye. And yes, I added that to my profile.) So, how many rejected?
Get this: NONE! Not a single dude hit the "I don't THINK so" button. (I'm not actually sure there's such a button, but there's probably something like it. Maybe a "it's not you, it's me" button?) I will totally admit that I'm surprised. I really saw some other kind of result from all the winky-winking and here I stand all corrected. (and yes, you're correct that I'm not standing. But "I sit corrected" just sounds weird.)
Of course they haven't responded back either. And what the hell is that? I mean, what kind of a person would not reply to another person's wink? What kind of heartless, thoughtless, Lame-a-licious person would let a wink go un-counter-winked?
So I have all these winks just sitting out there, twiddling their wink-thumbs and trying not to feel akward. I wish I could send them a reassuring email. "Dear my wink," it would start, "I know it can feel very strange being a wink out there, alone in the world. Never forget that you were winked with the best of intentions and if some guy out there doesn't appreciate you as the clever, sassy wink that you are, well it's just their loss!" And then a warm, winky hug.
And, as ever, once I hear back from someone I'll be sure to let you guys all know.